The Program

Life is changing all around us. Christmas is here, and the kids are now adjusting me working again. Finding a balance between cooking, cleaning, picking up and dropping off, working, being a wife and a successful business owner is proving to be harder than expected. Although so may call me a Jack-of-all-trades, it comes with it's costs.

I am exhausted and Elaina is having separation anxiety as of late. This falls somewhere between being one and having mommy back at work. Zachary is doing really well in school despite the fact that he is the youngest in his class. He did have quite a showing during his performance the other day.

It was the preschool Christmas program and the kids had learned a number of songs to share with all of the families. We all waited patiently for the kids to come into the room. They were all in a single-file line...until Zachary saw me. "MOMMY!!" And he came running full-force, plowed over sister and wrapped his arms around me. Now, I'm not saying I don't enjoy a great hug, but I was completely embarrassed by the fact that mine was the only child being unruly. I came to later realize that none of the parents were paying any attention, as they were all too enthralled in the likes of their own children, however, I remained red-cheeked.

Earlier in the day I had been changing Elaina's diaper when Zachary came over to check out the scene. He grabbed a wipe out of the dispenser and shoved it into his pocket.

Me: What are you doing?
Zachary: Saving this for later.
Me: Why?
Zachary: In case I need to wipe my nose.

After that, I had forgotten about the baby-wipe...until it made it's appearance. All of the preschoolers were lined up on the risers when the first song started. They all did the motions to the song, and sang. All but Zachary. Not a word. Not a peep, not a single sounds left his mouth. About a quarter of the way into the song he brought out the wipe. He started waving it around as though it was a flag. When it would get wrinkled up, he would put it down, and flatten it out for optimum flying potential. He continued to wave it around, high over his head for the duration of the program.

When all was said and done, I asked him...

Me: Why didn't you sing the songs?
Zachary: Because I was trying to listen to them.

And there you have it.

Later that day he decided to make a mess out of the cat food. Zachary love his cat. He loves that damn cat more than anything. The cat does not share the same appreciation for the boy, mostly because he is old, and Zachary squeezes him within an inch of his life so as not to let him "escape". The cat food was all over the floor when I said to him...

Me: Zachary, please clean up the cat food.
Zachary: Why?
Me: Because I don't want sister to eat it.
Zachary: Why?
Me: Because she isn't a cat.
Zachary: Oh yes, that is right. We are not cats, we are humans.

Later in the evening, Tim called. Unfortunately he had missed all of this excitement that I have been telling you about.

Tim: Hi, Zachary, what are you doing?
Zachary: Oh nothing. Just hanging out.

So I leave you with the age old question, where do they learn all of this?

The Tiger

All is well at the homestead. All except the fact that Zachary has recently decided that he is the boss.

Zachary: No!
Me: You are NOT the boss. Who is the boss?
Zachary: We all can be the boss.
Me: No sir, you may not be the boss.
Zachary: But I like to be the boss.
Me: Then you will like to sit in timeout.
Zachary: But I don't like to be the boss.

This is pretty much daily. I am glad, however, that he is actually glad to see me after school at this point. His combination of mania and crankiness has subsided. I think his sister is relieved as well, mostly because she doesn't have to dodge any flying backpacks or leftover snacks upon his arrival.

Business is good. I am thoroughly enjoying my new job, and Zachary is thoroughly enjoying getting temporary tattoos. He thinks he is very fancy. He does not enjoy getting his face painted, mostly because he has to hold still for that. We tried to paint him as a tiger when I first started, but it quickly went awry with his talking, laughing and moving. I had to make so many "fixes" on his face that he ended up looking like he had two black eyes.

Elaina is doing really well. We took her in for her 15 month appointment yesterday. She always does really well with her shots. What can I say? Girls are tougher than boys. She gets her shot and only screams for a second; the minute she sees her sucker she's silent. It's a beautiful thing.

I am really enjoying this early Spring that we are experiencing. I am hoping that God forgot about Winter altogether...I am sure there is no such luck.

Love!

The Deer

For me it's hit and miss in the blogging world. I'll be very on top of it for roughly a week, and then BOOM! Nothing. By this time, Mr. Bear has already had another "hot date" and my fingers didn't even have time to tell you about it. This time, he actually told the class "I took him on a hot date," to which the teacher replied, "It was very hot?" Upon reading that we had a bonfire, she concluded that it must have been what he was referring to, when in fact, it wasn't. He was sure that a "hot date" is what it meant when you take someone somewhere for fun.

Either way...I'm sorry it's been so long! I am, however, grateful that I get such positive feedback from this blog! It makes it totally worth writing, and so I thank all of you for that.

Next on the agenda is that I have started a new business. Shocking, I know, that I would start something new. Most of you are probably thinking that this will turn out to be another one of my "flings", but only time can tell. Maybe it will! Hopefully it won't. It's going well so far. It enjoy it very much and love what I am doing. It's stressful, but more of a good stress than bad. I go to work my first actual event last night and was rather successful. I am looking forward to the next.

I know that the Zachary stories are always everyone's favorite, so I have yet another that some of you may have not heard.

We stayed at my mom's house on Wednesday because I needed to work in Kalamazoo on Thursday morning. This was the conversation that took place on Thursday before leaving:

Zachary: Can I ride in your car?
Mimi: No, I need to go to work and my car is in the shop because it was hit by a deer.
Zachary: Was it one of Santa's deer?
Mimi: No, it was just a regular deer.
Zachary: What kind was it?
Mimi: It was just a girl deer.
Zachary: Was it the kind that like to get hit by cars?
Mimi: Yes, I suppose it was.

Where does he get this?! LOL I actually heard this entire conversation and couldn't help but laugh. Especially because at this point he is sure one of Santa's deer has been injured or killed on top of the fact that he knows if he doesn't be "good" that Santa won't come! I think he's pretty sure Christmas could be good or bad this year. He'd better shape up if he's planning on getting any presents. Santa and I go WAY back!

The Bear

What a day. Preschool? Check. Headache? Check. At least Zachary isn't quite as grumpy today because he got to bring Mr. Bear home. Mr. Bear is the class "pet" that each child gets to bring home the night before their "special helper day". They are supposed to take him on an adventure of sorts, write about it in the Mr. Bear book and bring him back to school the next day.

Me: Zachary, are you excited that Mr. Bear is coming home with us?
Zachary: Yes!
Me: What are we going to do with him?
Zachary: I think...how 'bout...take him on a hot date.

Instead, we took him to the park. We didn't want to take him anywhere too fancy for our first meeting. We don't want him to think it's serious.

Since I picked up the boy, the bear has not left his side. He even played football with Tim and Zachary in the back yard. He needs some practice on his catching, however.

Unfortunately, we had another incident with Zachary yesterday. Another week of preschool, another injury. I have been repeatedly telling him that he MUST wear shoes outside and he repeatedly fails to listen. I think he finally figured out that mom's know everything yesterday when he stepped on a rock and I found him standing in a pool of his own blood, screaming. Luckily he didn't need stitches. I was thinking that if I took him back to urgent care they were going to think that we don't actually have a family doctor. We are regulars over there, but my children only like to get injured after hours.

Off to make dinner.

The First Week of School

It has been a mad house over here! Elaina is teething and trying to give up her naps and Zachary has been going to school this week. It's like we are constantly on the move, and I can't say that I hate it.

We thought that Zachary had broken his finger on Tuesday night. He was out playing with his trains in the dirt when I heard him scream. He had tried to pick up a piece of flagstone that we have as ornamental stairs going down to the back yard and accidentally dropped it on his finger. It swelled up and turned purple, so off to urgent care we went. Luckily it wasn't broken and they sent us home. While we were there the nurse gave him a coloring book that had pictures of food it in. By this time he was feeling much better and told me, "Look, Mommy! Look at this picture of scrumptious lunch!" Scrumptious? Where does he hear these things?

He has really been enjoying going to school, but when I pick him up he is an absolute monster. Everyone keeps telling me it only gets worse. I guess when you have to be on your best behavior for three hours, it's time to let loose on your mom when you get home. It's hard to get any information out of him about school. He did tell us that the boy in the green shirt is very naughty because he turned on the phone, and that the boy in the bug shirt wouldn't share. It's been two days of school and that's all we know.

Yesterday I did my shopping while Elaina was at daycare and Zachary was in class. I did my normal ritual, starting at Aldi and then going to Meijer. (Mums are only 2.99 at Aldi right now!) I love going to Aldi because their checkers move at warp speed. Even if there are 10 people in line it doesn't take me more than a few minutes to finish with my order. Meijer was a different story. I swear, this woman was moving at the speed of nail growth. I have never been in a checkout line for 45 minutes until yesterday. This resulted in me being five minutes late to pick up Zachary and I was none too happy about that.

Last night my mom was here because she is working in Grand Rapids. After dinner she had her first encounter with the Backyardigans. Lucky her. It was the one where they are pretending to be vikings, but Zachary informed her that she could not be a viking because "Mimi, you do not have a biking hat." (Or a viking hat, for that matter.)

Well, that's all for today. Yay for the end of the week. Love to all.

The Band-Aid

Yesterday was relatively good. The sun was shining and the weather was really enjoyable. The kids were pretty good other than the occasional spitting contest and throwing tiny rainbow-colored animals at each other, so I can't really complain. As earlier stated, it could always be worse.

We sat down and made our family rule list. Zachary is doing very well with it, mostly because he doesn't care much for sitting in timeout. We have tried spanking and it just doesn't work as well as sitting him in the naughty spot and not letting him be in control. He like to be in control...must have gotten it from his father.

Zachary and I have been having the battle of the band-aids. I bought two boxes a few weeks ago (the fabric kind) and he seems to think that he needs one on every appendage. Every time I walk into the bathroom it's like a band-aid grenade has gone off. How do they get all over everything? It's like he was running around and around and couldn't catch himself to stick them on. Instead he catches all of the inanimate objects in the bathroom and covers up their imaginary boo-boos.

It was around 8:00 last night when Tim went to put the dirt mongrel in the bath. I was cleaning up the kitchen when I heard...

Tim: Liz! Get in here now and look at this!
Me: What?
Tim: Look at your son. Do you notice anything out of the ordinary?

There stood Zachary, buck naked with - you guessed it - his penis wrapped up in a band-aid. Here is the best part. You know how when you wrap up your finger in a band-aid it doesn't quite fit so it makes a little point on the end? Well, Mr. Pointy Penis he was. It was quite a sight. I laughed and laughed and immediately tried to think of people I could call and share the humor with.

Me: Zachary, you need to take that off.
Zachary: I don't want to take it off
Me: Well, you need to.
Zachary: Okay! (goes to rip it off) OW!
Me: Okay, we need to get it off there.
Zachary: Okay, Mommy. I will do it because I need to do it very gently.

Moral of the story - never wrap your penis up tightly in a band-aid.

The Fruity Pebbles

It's been an exciting ride lately, and by exciting I actually mean exhausting. I was seriously considering selling my son on E-bay last Friday. Well, I don't know if I can actually call it selling since I was going to pay someone to take him. I was one "why?" away from insanity. I continue to reassure myself that "things could be worse!"

As usual, Tim is still finding ways to wrench my nerves. Much to his dismay, I have to share this in hopes that it will make him refrain from doing it. Let me start by saying that we have one bathroom. One, and only one, and it is one thing on a long list of many that I don't love about this house. It is rather smallish and the toilet sits relatively close to the tub. Now, in the evening I love nothing more than soaking in a hot bath, but for some reason Timothy's bowels think that my bathing is the perfect time to let loose. Actually, it doesn't matter what time of day it is. Morning, noon, or nighty-night, his bowels always respond accordingly to me in the bath. The MINUTE I get into the tub, it's time. "Seriously? You didn't know that you had to go two minutes ago before I got into the tub?" Have I mentioned I am raising three kids?

On another note, I felt my true age the other day. For some reason we were talking about the Flintstones when my Uncle Joe said, "You know, I bed my kids don't even know who the Flintstones are." I couldn't believe that it could be true, so I turned to my 10 year old cousin, Kyla.

Me: Do you know who the Flintstones are?
Kyla: Yeah! I know who they are.
Her Mom: Like Pebbles and Bam-Bam? You know them?
Kyla: Duh, yeah, I know them.
Me: So you can sing the song?
Kyla: No. I eat their cereal.

The fact that this child thinks that the Flintstones came about just to pose on a box of Fruity Pebbles makes me feel less than young.

I am so glad that the Fall weather has finally rolled around. I am enjoying it very much and so are my kids. Of course, we all know that Zachary would live outside if I would allow it, but Elaina cannot stand the heat. She is very happy that she can get outside now to enjoy her daily intake of wood chips.

Zachary just found the band-aids so I must go and de-mummify him. Here's to a happy Monday. Cheers!